How To Build a High Agency Mindset   

I explore the most powerful mindset I use every single day: the agency mindset. It’s the framework that helps me navigate stress, adversity, uncertainty, and life’s toughest challenges with clarity and strength. In this episode, I walk listeners through how this idea has evolved over thousands of years, from ancient philosophy to modern psychology, and how we can all apply it in practical, meaningful ways in our everyday lives.

Historical Roots of Agency

• Stoics – Epictetus & Marcus Aurelius
  • Focus on what’s in our control vs. outside our control.
  • Concepts like Amor Fati and radical acceptance of life’s impermanence.
• Buddhism
  • Suffering arises from trying to control the uncontrollable.
  • Peace comes from letting go, detaching from outcomes, and accepting change.
• Serenity Prayer
  • Wisdom to know the difference between what I can and cannot control.
• Julian Rotter – Locus of Control
  • Internal locus: belief that my actions shape outcomes.
  • External locus: outcomes shaped by external forces.
• CBT + NLP + Covey
  • I can’t always control events, but I can control my interpretations.
  • Differentiate between control and influence.
  • Expand my circle of influence and shrink my circle of concern.

Implementing the Agency Mindset

• I divide challenges into three main buckets:
  • What I can fully control
    • My preparation, actions, mindset, and attitude.
  • What I can influence
    • People, outcomes, and probabilities.
  • What is outside my control
    • Events, luck, others’ choices, systems, health, and circumstances.
• Fourth Optional Layer: Trust
  • When acceptance is too hard, you can rely on trust—
    • Trust in the future: that things will eventually be okay, or
    • Trust in people or
    • Trust in God. 

The Hero’s Journey & Personal Agency

• People often tell themselves either:
  • A victim story (others are the problem), or
  • A villain story (I am the problem).
• My role as a therapist is to help them become the hero of their story.
• A hero emerges through agency—by focusing on control and influence rather than helplessness.
• Becoming the hero of your life requires believing you can act effectively.

Final Insights

• The agency mindset is essential for resilience and well-being.
• When I apply it, I can navigate uncertainty with strength, clarity, and hope.
• The key questions I use daily:
  • What can I control?
  • What can I influence?
  • What must I accept?
  • Where do I place my trust?