If there is one thing we can all agree on, it is that life has its fair share of challenges and setbacks, disappointments and hurdles. So, what are some of the key things you need to remember and do in order to handle setbacks?

Richard (Bandler) often says ‘disappointment requires adequate planning. You have to plan ahead of time in order to be disappointed’. So, you can only experience a setback if you already set yourself ‘up’. Setting yourself up means planning that everything will go a certain way for yourself in your head. Then, when life interferes and things don’t go the way you want them to… you feel bad as a result. What we can learn from this is to build flexibility into the way we think about things. Instead of expecting everything to go the way we plan, we can imagine things going the way we desire and, at the same time, know that if they don’t we will be able to handle it regardless. We plan to succeed and have a plan if we don’t.

Another idea is to change the definition you have for success. Instead of seeing a perfect outcome as being success, ask yourself what do you really want at the end of the day. For example, instead of wanting ‘the’ perfect job, see the goal in your head as being finding ‘an’ amazing job which might be this one or might be something else. By extending your reach, it will help you make more progress in that direction.

Remind yourself of all the people who have experienced setbacks on their way to great success. All you have to do is read any biography of the most successful people and you will see tons of examples of failure and disappointment. Those negative feelings are used often as motivation to drive people to succeed afterward. You can use the same feelings for the same purpose. 

Lastly, be okay with these feelings. Accept that they are a signal, a sign to tell you that you are not there yet and you need to learn from what is happening so you can turn things around. By letting the results or lack thereof become your guide you will ensure that you bounce back brilliantly.


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