The guide, dressed in a military uniform, welcomed me. I was in a war museum in Pyongyang, North Korea.
Smiling as politely as she could muster, standing next to a recently polished Russian tank, she started with a history lesson:
“In 1950, the American imperialist bastards joined forces with the puppet government of the south to attack our country…”
I smirked at this. I’d never heard the word ‘bastard’ said with such detachment.
She paused. I smiled apologetically. My face is far too easy to read.
She continued without an ounce of bitterness. I’m pretty sure she didn’t know what ‘bastard’ meant. She was simply recalling what happened. Or, at least, she believed she was.
Back in Ireland, before I studied psychology, I did a degree in history. I learned what ‘really’ happened in Korea in 1950. How the communists invaded. I also watched enough movies when I was a kid growing up: USA good. Russia bad. It’s that simple.
Except, it’s not that simple.
Living in a Binary World
What took me to North Korea, as well as places like Afghanistan, Iran, and Rwanda, was the same thing that has driven my research for the past twenty-five years: I’m obsessed with why we believe what we believe.
A few weeks after this trip, I was in New York chatting with my friend. I described the guide’s alternative version of events with him.
“It must have been so crazy with so much propaganda over there,” he said.
“There is only really one key difference between over there and over here,” I responded.
“In North Korea, they have one narrative they follow. In the US, there are two.”
With all of the incredible freedoms that we experience in America, we are also imprisoned in a binary perspective on so many things. The political Left and Right. Face masks. Vaccines. Abortion. Gun control. Mainstream vs independent media. We exaggerate constantly and we argue like we’re five years old. “You’re soooo dumb. It’s not A. It’s B. Dummy.”
Making everything a simple, sensational story is making us stupid.
We are missing the most important thing of all: NUANCE.
Nuance comes from the French language, where it originally meant “shade”. It traces back further to the Latin word nubes, which means “cloud.” The idea was that just like subtle changes in the sky or clouds, there could be subtle differences in meaning, feeling, or tone.
Why We Dumb Things Down
Our brain isn’t a fan of nuance. Its job is to keep us alive. To do so, it acts as a prediction machine. The goal is to predict what is going to happen next so that it can do what is needed, internally and externally, to help us survive.
Imagine you’re sauntering through ancient Africa, and you happen to see a lion in the distance. Your brain remembers how one of these big, angry-looking cats ate your friend Frank. It triggers the release of adrenaline, so you can take fast action. This saves your life.
But it’s not just that fearing Mufasa makes you scared. When you are scared, you are more likely to fear whatever is around you. If you were already traumatized over poor old Frank, you may well see a lot of other dangers around you. How we feel determines what we pay attention to and even what we believe. Our feelings of fear or anger amplify our desire to keep things easy to understand. We don’t have time to think things through.
How We Dumb Things Down
Our brain primarily uses three filters to process the world with as little energy as possible.
We simplify, storify, and sensationalize.
1. Simplify
Consider the last time you voted for someone. If I were to hook you up to a lie detector test and ask you what your process was, would you really tell me that you did extensive research into both candidates and hypothesized about the best candidate based upon all of the available evidence? Did you ignore the political party they were from or their personality and simply listen to their promises and policies?
My guess is, like most of us, you voted for other reasons.
Maybe there is one issue you cared about, and the rest were unimportant to you. Maybe you drank the flavor aid from CNN or Fox News or your social media feed, and you’ve started talking in soundbites. Maybe you have an allergy to the other candidate’s face.
Regardless, so many of the decisions we make are a direct result of this tendency to simplify, simplify, simplify.
‘Just don’t hurt me with too much thinking,’ our brain mutters. We want our information spoon-fed and dumbed down.
2. Storify
Perhaps the biggest way that we dumb things down is through the stories we tell ourselves. We remember stories better. They make life easier.
When I was small, I always wanted to be the hero who fought against the villain. I bet you’re the same. Our ‘storification’ of everything ensures that there are always two sides to every experience, and we make the same choices as we made back then.
We invest in the stories we are told. We don’t use logic to figure out what’s correct. We use it to convince ourselves that we are correct once we’ve decided which story we are buying into.
Our stories compete against each other in a narrative war. And we don’t even hear the other perspective. Instead, we twist their story into a straw man’s argument – the weakest possible argument the other side can have. And we make our own story stronger.
3. Sensationalize
Like any good storyteller, making our story stronger is about raising the stakes and making everything more extreme. When yellow whiskers are galloping towards you, saliva dripping from their teeth, you don’t have time to figure out what’s worth paying attention to. Your brain needs to use all its resources. STAT.
Given the primary focus it has on keeping us alive, it works best in making everything a life-or-death scenario. It’s a wolf-crying boy whose only goal is to get and keep our attention. Just as the media and social media tweak their algorithms to optimize for sensationalist content, we, too, do the same thing. Our brain worries, panics, and overthinks itself into a frenzy to get us to pay attention to potential threats.
Moderation is boring. So we don’t pay attention to it. We learn to sensationalize so we can keep ourselves engaged. Good becomes awesome. Bad becomes the worst.
Simple, sensational stories seduce us into selecting our point of view, like our favorite team. There are two ways to understand every event. Trapped in a binary jail, you are either with or against us. And there is no room for nuance. Whose side are you on?
- They are brainwashed idiots with malicious intent.
- We are the rational, virtuous heroes.
At least, that’s what both sides say.
And when we dare to bring up the importance of nuance, the response is:
- But there is right and wrong.
- There is the objective truth. I know it. And you don’t.
At least, that’s what both sides say.
Again, it’s not that simple.
A World with Nuance
While simplification, storification, and sensationalization might prove useful in some contexts, much of the time, it just makes things worse. We find ourselves further apart from each other and stop listening.
It’s not just that we need more nuance in our conversations. We need to celebrate having a balanced point of view. Embracing nuance is the answer. And it’s actually a choice.
What does it look like?
Being more nuanced means using ‘it depends’ more.
It means looking at the strongest argument on both sides.
It means not being predictable.
It means not always taking the same side.
It means thinking things through.
It means investigating the competing historical interpretations of what went on.
It means being clear with how you speak about what you know, feel, and believe.
It means being comfortable with guessing and updating your prior beliefs and being wrong.
Path to the Gray
Thinking with nuance just means that you can entertain a different perspective. Today, I can still be tempted by the sensational, simple stories that stimulate me. But I know where they lead. And it’s rarely wisdom.
In Star Wars, Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan faces his protégé Anakin Skywalker in battle. Anakin had just turned to the dark side.
“If you’re not with me. Then you’re my enemy,” Anakin shouts.
Obi-Wan responds: “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.”
That problematic response notwithstanding, I can’t help but think the path to the dark side is in our obsession with the absolute. Like angry and fearful Anakin Skywalker, we too can be lured into the trap of thinking lions are everywhere. Either I end up like Frank or else! Maybe the path to the light isn’t where we want to go. Maybe we want the path to the gray instead.
Thinking with nuance doesn’t mean that you have to be an ‘imperialist bastard’. Admitting you might not be 100% right about everything doesn’t mean you’re 100% wrong about everything. There are more options.
Tears Around the World
As the guide continued the tour, we entered a mausoleum. She turned and, in a somber tone, exclaimed:
“Your birthday is a very sad day. July 8. Many years ago, our dear leader Kim Il Sung died on that day. People around the world grieved.”
I didn’t know what to do, so I just nodded.
Television screens around the room played footage of people mourning around the world. Sounds of wailing drowned out every other noise. I’m pretty sure one of the videos was taken from Princess Diana’s funeral.
When the wailing stopped, she asked if I had any questions.
I asked her: “What do you think of the American imperialist bastards?”
She shrugged.
“Surely, you hate them?” I suggested.
She responded. “It’s not that simple.”
I’m kidding. That’s not what she responded.
Without any emotion whatsoever, she simply nodded.
“Yes.”
