There is some compelling research out there in the field of psychology on relationships and how to create the kind of long lasting relationships with others that ensure you both live happily ever after.
In this post, I wanted to share some of the simple and practical acts that the research suggests is a good idea if you want a loving and happy relationship with someone.
- Keep a 5:1 ratio of good to bad. Research by John Gottman (a leading expert on building quality relationships) suggested that healthy relationships tend to have five positive interactions for every negative interaction. Do what you can to get close to this ratio!
- Complain not criticise. Instead of criticising the person when they upset you, try complaining about the specific behaviour and ask for them to do something different the next time.
- Pay attention. Paying attention to the other person means that you have a much better idea as to how they are doing, what they need and what they might be feeling so you can help them.
- Remember the good times. It is important to remind each other of the best times that you have both had together and bring back some of those good feelings.
- Schedule in the good times. Making time for your partner is something that people have well meaning intentions for but don’t always follow through on. Schedule in quality time with them and make sure that the time is non-negotiable!
- Treat them like you used to. When you first met your partner, you treated them in a particular way to win their heart. By treating them like you did then, it will make it easier to re-trigger those same feelings!