Recently, I have seen a few articles on bullying online and offline and I felt I needed to say something to everyone out there in school and, even in work, who is the victim of bullying. I’ve put it into a seven-point format. Hope that makes sense and excuse the language.
1. F**K THEM
Bullies are pathetic little spineless creatures who go after the weak because they feel weak themselves. Weak mentally, emotionally, physically or socially. But always weak in some way. Anyone who is truly strong doesn’t need to put others down.
2. TELL WHO YOU NEED TO TELL
‘Snitching’ on someone is when you have an honour code in a group. When you are being bullied, that isn’t an honour code. There is no honour in someone pouring milk over you in the cafeteria, insulting you in front of that boy you like or making your life hell in your new job. Tell whoever you need to about it. THEY are in the wrong.
3. LEARN HOW TO DEFEND YOURSELF
When bullying gets physical I believe it is a very smart idea to learn the adequate skills to handle yourself. You don’t have to look like THE ROCK in order for you to defend yourself. Most great Martial Arts out there are about technique rather than strength. When you learn it, it will make you feel more confident too.
4. KNOW WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON
You want to know what a bully is thinking when they are bullying. This is what is really going through their head: “I WANT EVERYONE TO SEE I AM STRONG. I AM PETRIFIED THAT PEOPLE WILL SEE ME AS STUPID, WEAK OR A LOSER SO I’M GOING TO ATTACK OTHERS SO THEY FEAR ME AS I DON’T THINK I’M LOVABLE”. That is what is going through their head in all probability. The only potential scenario where this might not be true is if they are just 100% jealous of you.
5. BE IMPOSSIBLE TO RISE
Whatever crap you have to deal with from the bully, always look like you expect it and never look like it ruffles you. The more you can laugh it off the better. At the same time, obviously you need to take the appropriate action necessary to ensure it does not happen again. The key though is that you need to avoid showing that they are making any impact on you with what they are saying or doing.
6. ACT IN UNPREDICTABLE WAYS
I’m not suggesting the following in all contexts, but there are plenty of situations that acting unpredictably can come in very handy. When they call you names, thank them and like the names. If they pour something over you, pretend to enjoy tasting it. If they treat you mean when you start working with them, thank them for being so sweet. Maybe you could even start psychoanalysing them about what makes them feel so angry or mean? Again this isn’t for everyone!
7. IF THEY CHANGE THEIR WAYS FORGIVE THEM
Holding onto grudges does you no favours whatsoever. You need to be able to let go of the bad experiences you went through and use them as the very experiences that made you stronger and tougher as a person. Let them go and let them have learned their lessons.