How to Build an Impervious Attitude

Hi there,

What’s the Story?

Hope you are doing great and looking forward to the summer ahead. I’ve recently been on the road and did a couple of keynotes in Tennessee to a wonderful group of auto shop owners. It’s been fun presenting the new keynote.

I’ve also posted some new videos on my YouTube channel lately—including me in full flight on stage from last year and a clip of me being interviewed by Phil M Jones—so if you haven’t checked it out yet, now’s the time.

In the meantime, this edition is all about building an impervious attitude, how to stay solid in the face of stress, setbacks, or sucker punches from life. It’s one of the most powerful skills you can develop… and I’m breaking it down below.

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How to Build an Impervious Attitude – Become Unshakeable in the Face of Life’s Challenges

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes 15 seconds

There are times when life feels like it’s testing every fiber of your being. When things don’t go to plan, when people let you down, when it all seems too much. But what if you could train your mind to handle all of that, not by pretending it doesn’t exist, but by facing it and rising above it?

That’s what building an impervious attitude is all about. It’s not about being a robot or denying emotions. It’s about being solid enough to stay standing when the world shakes. I first heard the term “impervious” used this way by the wonderful Dr. Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP and co-author with me on multiple books, and it stuck with me. It’s the mindset that says:

“Whatever happens, I’ll handle it.”

So, how do you build that?

1. Understand the Two Types of Adversity

Start by separating macro adversity and micro adversity:

Macro adversity is the big stuff: heartbreak, grief, illness, financial ruin, death, loss. These hit deep. They shake your identity. They take time to process.
Micro adversity is the small, everyday friction: losing your keys, a rude comment online, social media comparison, or someone cutting you off in traffic. These don’t define you, unless you let them.

If you treat a micro adversity like a macro one, you’ll always be exhausted. If you treat a macro adversity like a micro one, you’ll bypass the very healing that makes you stronger. The key? Know which is which, and respond accordingly.

2. Embrace the Impervious Philosophy

“Impervious” means unaffected, untouched, immune to. Now, are you going to be 100% impervious? Probably not. You are human. But if you aim for impervious, you land on resilient, and that’s a good place to be.

To build this mindset, you need a philosophy. Here are a few guiding beliefs and the areas of study they have been popularized in:

It’s not as good or as bad as it seems. (Stoicism)
Everything changes. (Buddhism)
There’s a lesson in every experience. (NLP/CBT)
My brain is stronger than I think. (Neuroscience)

These aren’t just motivational quotes. They’re instructions.

3. Learn to Handle Macro Adversity

Macro adversity isn’t fixed by hacks. It’s endured, integrated, and eventually transformed. Here’s how to handle it:

Allow time. Grief, heartbreak, loss—these take time. No quick fix.
Accept the pain. Stop judging yourself for feeling it. Feel it fully, and it will shift.
Take care of your body. Even when your mind is spiraling, get sleep. Move. Eat cleanly.
Remind yourself: this will pass. Eventually, everything will be okay. Not because of magic, because you’ll make it okay.
Find meaning in the pain. As Viktor Frankl said, “Suffering ceases to be suffering the moment it finds meaning.” Ask: What is this teaching me?

4. Don’t Let Micro Adversity Derail You

Your day gets hijacked by a snide remark or a lost item? That’s not impervious, that’s emotional hostage-taking.

Here’s how to stop sweating the small stuff:

Focus on what matters. Zoom out. Will this matter in 5 years? No? Move on.
Label your emotions. “I’m not just ‘annoyed.’ I’m feeling undermined.” Naming it specifically helps to calm your mind.
Care for your brain. Eat, sleep, exercise, rest. These aren’t luxuries. They’re the most important form of brain maintenance.
Remember, contrast magnifies emotion. A bad moment after a great day feels worse. Don’t be fooled—it’s just contrast playing tricks.

5. Develop the Antifragile Mindset

Resilience is bouncing back. Antifragility is bouncing back better.

You grow from the chaos. You benefit from the pressure. This isn’t a metaphor. It’s a studied phenomenon: post-traumatic growth.

Remember:

What doesn’t kill you can make you smarter, stronger, and more compassionate—if you invest the lesson.
As Jim Rohn said, “Don’t wish it was easier. Wish you were better.”
Stress isn’t always bad. Your mindset about stress changes its biological effect.

6. Become the Learning Alchemist

Every experience is a deposit. The question is: Are you investing it?

After every win, loss, or wobble, ask:

“What’s the lesson here? How can I use this?”

When you do that, nothing is wasted. You become unstoppable.

7. Reframe Failure, Rejection, Disappointment, Criticism, and Aggression

These are the five horsemen that crush most people:

Failure? It’s just data. Learn from it and refocus on your goal.
Rejection? It’s their perception, not your worth. Move forward.
Disappointment? Have lower expectations from the world, higher expectations from yourself.
Criticism? Separate the data from the drama.
Aggression? Stay composed. Label the feeling. Stick to your goal.

8. Practice Mental Contrasting and Future Living

Visualize success and anticipate the obstacles. This is about using a technique known as WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan)—not magical thinking.