Hi there,
What’s the Story?
It’s been a great month so far. I’m still working away at the book and pounding the pavement as I edge towards the marathon.
This week we have a very useful episode on the Changing Minds Podcast where I go through the work of Phil M. Jones, an expert in sales and the author of Exactly What to Say. I walk through the key phrases that Phil suggests to help you become a masterful communicator. You can access it here: video.owenfitzpatrick.com. Below is a taste of the brilliant phrases you will learn about.
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How to Master Communication: Insights from Phil M. Jones
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes 54 seconds
Imagine knowing exactly what to say and how to say it when the stakes are high. Imagine having the tools to communicate effectively to get the results you desire. Today, we explore the work of Phil M. Jones, one of the most sought-after sales experts and keynote speakers in the world. His book, Exactly What to Say, offers 32 magical phrases that can transform your ability to persuade and influence.
Who is Phil M. Jones?
Phil M. Jones is a renowned keynote speaker and sales expert who has been working in the field of sales since he was very young. By the age of 15, he was earning more than his teachers through his car-washing business. In 2008, he created his training and consulting business and has since become a best-selling author, with his books translated into multiple languages.
Key Principles from Exactly What to Say
Phil Jones emphasizes several key principles in his communication approach that form the backbone of his effectiveness:
Curiosity: Curiosity drives great conversations. Asking open-ended questions and showing genuine interest in others allows for deeper connections and understanding, which are crucial for effective communication.
Preparation: The worst time to think about what you’re saying is when you’re saying it. Preparation leads to clarity and confidence, ensuring you know exactly what to say when it matters most.
Empathy: Understanding that people do things for their reasons, not yours, is fundamental. Align your communication with their needs and desires to be more persuasive.
Question Control: The person asking the questions controls the conversation. Mastering the art of questioning directs the attention and responses of the listener, making your communication more effective.
The Science of Communication
Phil’s work emphasizes that the worst time to think about what you’re saying is when you’re saying it. Preparation is key. Effective communication starts with curiosity, understanding that people do things for their reasons, not yours, and knowing that the person asking the questions controls the conversation.
Rejection-Free Openings
Phil introduces phrases that reduce psychological resistance and make listeners more receptive. For example:
“I’m not sure it’s for you, but…” lowers defenses by suggesting the listener has the choice to opt out.
“Would you be open-minded about…” appeals to people’s desire to be seen as open-minded.
Perspective Changers
These phrases help shift the listener’s viewpoint:
“What do you understand about…” encourages the listener to share their perspective, fostering better understanding.
“How certain are you…” introduces doubt, making the listener reconsider their stance.
Assumptive Frames
These techniques assume agreement and help guide the conversation:
“When would be a good time to…” presupposes that the listener will agree, focusing only on the timing.
“I’m guessing you haven’t gotten around to…” gently challenges the listener to take action.
Making Conversations Count
Phil suggests simple swaps to reframe conversations positively:
“What’s the best number for you?” instead of “Do I have your phone number?”
“Thank you for your patience” instead of “Sorry for the delay.”
Strategies to Implement Phil’s Techniques
Plan Ahead: The worst time to think about what you’re saying is when you’re saying it. Prepare your key phrases and strategies in advance.
Be Curious: Ask open-ended questions to understand the other person’s perspective better. This builds deeper connections and more effective communication.
Use Rejection-Free Openings: Lower defenses with phrases like, “I’m not sure it’s for you, but…” and “Would you be open-minded about…”
Shift Perspectives: Encourage the listener to reconsider their views with questions like, “What do you understand about…” and “How certain are you…”
Assume Agreement: Guide conversations with assumptive frames such as, “When would be a good time to…” and “I’m guessing you haven’t gotten around to…”
Practical Tips to Boost Your Communication Skills
Plan Your Conversations: Think ahead about what you want to achieve and how best to phrase your key points.
Stay Curious: Always ask questions to understand the other person’s perspective.
Use Positive Language: Reframe negative statements into positive ones to create a more constructive dialogue.
Be Empathetic: Show genuine interest in the other person’s needs and concerns.
Stay Flexible: Be ready to adapt your approach based on the flow of the conversation.
Conclusion
Phil M. Jones’s strategies offer a practical toolkit for anyone looking to improve their communication skills. By preparing in advance, staying curious, using rejection-free openings, shifting perspectives, and assuming agreement, you can enhance your ability to persuade and influence others effectively.
For a more in-depth discussion on this, tune in to the Changing Minds Podcast this week and explore more about mastering the art of communication with Phil M. Jones.
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The Brain Prompt
Spend this week observing your communication patterns. How often do you prepare what you’re going to say in advance? How can you incorporate Phil’s techniques into your conversations to become more persuasive and effective?
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Cheers,
Owen.
P.S. Find more information on Phil here.
