In the modern world, fatigue is a common complaint. Many people find themselves continuously tired. Even when getting plenty of sleep, the excuse that has become commonplace is that of being too shattered to do something. In reality though the vast majority of the time when we are exhausted, it is not because of the physical activity of our bodies but the mental strain we put ourselves under when we hold on to things. We hold on to worries and fears, stresses and anxieties. We hold on to thoughts that make us feel bad and relationships that keep hurting us. There are a number of steps toward learning how to let things like this go. Let’s examine some ideas that can help.
The key is to remember that ‘holding on to worries or problems’ is a description in the form of a metaphor. The truth is that we do not really hold on. Instead, we continue to do the act of worrying or” problemizing”. Every time we do this we create a chemical cocktail of stressful hormones such as cortisol and we find ourselves feeling bad as a result. When you understand that you actually ‘do’ these things, it can help you to change your behaviour and do something else.
The metaphor of holding on to such problems isn’t a bad metaphor to use because it is quite easy to let go of something you are holding on to. In order to do so though you have to ensure that you do not need what you are about to let go of in any way. You see, our mind does its best to give us what we need by giving us worries and fears. Our worries ensure we are prepared for challenges in the future. Our fears ensure that we do not do things that are dangerous. Sadly, many of the things we worry about we can not do anything about and many of the things we are scared of there is no need to be.
So, first we need to ensure that whatever we are holding on to… that we protect ourselves in the way it may be trying to protect us. If you were to let go of that worry, what would you need to do to ensure you were safe in the future. If you were to let go of that anger, what would you need to do to ensure that you do not feel hurt again. If you were to let go of that relationship, what did that person give you that you want or enjoy so you can give it to yourself once again.
Once you have identified what you need to do to compensate from losing whatever you are letting go of… the next step is to ask yourself how would it feel if you had let go of it entirely. The more you do this, the easier it is for you to start getting your body and mind into the right state that corresponds to you feeling really good. Ask yourself, how would you be thinking if you let it go? How would you be feeling? In each part of your body?
Finally, it is a good idea to find some sort of ritual that you engage in so that you can let go. This could be going to the gym or having a shower or singing a song in the car at the top of your lungs. Whatever. Just something that you can say beforehand… I am going to get all of this out of my system and let it go once and for all. Once you do this, you can then start to discipline yourself to think in the manner suggested above and create the kind of feelings you need instead.