One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves
We lie to ourselves all the time. We say we are going to do something and we don’t do it. We vow to change a habit and we fail. We tell ourselves something will only take a few minutes and it takes a lot longer. We don’t see these lies as ‘lies’. Nobody likes to think of themselves as being a ‘liar’.
We blame our ‘lack of willpower’ or the ‘changing circumstances’ and we make excuses so that we don’t have to accept that we lied. It is easy to defend ourselves since we can easily argue that we didn’t know that we weren’t going to do what we said…. but something changed. Therefore, it’s not a lie. I would suggest that it is actually more useful that we do, indeed, see these as lies.
Why? Well, seeing these as lies will make us more conscious of making promises to ourselves in the future. If your friend made you a promise to bring you over your favorite ice cream when visiting you for dinner and they did so every single time but never once actually brought it, there comes a time when you both know that there is no ice cream coming. If someone promises to propose to their partner and does so for seven years, it can be fair to suggest that neither party believes the promise anymore.
It’s very relatable to say you are going to do something and then you don’t. It’s even ‘normal’ but normal isn’t always healthy. The problem I’m pointing out is that liars lie and when you constantly make promises to yourself that you don’t keep, it makes sense that you stop believing yourself. This is hugely problematic.
Our success in the world comes down to the actions we take. In order to take these actions, we need to commit to them. To commit to an action, we need to vow to do it and follow through. When you mostly don’t follow through, this not only has an outer world impact, it also has an inner world impact. We stop believing that you will do what you say you will do. And this means you are less likely to be influenced by the promises you make. You stop giving credibility to the words you speak and therefore your words and actions become more and more distant from each other.
To succeed in life, it is important to follow through on your promises. The most important of these promises are the promises to yourself. When you say you will do something, it is important that you actually do it. Become strict with this. Actively make sure that if you aren’t going to change a habit, you don’t say that you will. When you become the kind of person that makes happen what you say will happen, you will become so much more impactful and powerful in your everyday life.
One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is usually about what we are going to do. When you become more self-honest, this can change your life.