Hi there,
What’s the Story?
This week we have a very cool podcast episode and article on the mistakes we make in how we remember things. If you’ve often wondered why your memory isn’t as good as you’d like to think… this one is for you. You can check out the podcast here: video.owenfitzpatrick.com.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends. And speaking of Thursday, you will be hearing from me then in an extra email with news on a Black Friday offer that might be of interest to you. Keep an eye out for it on Thursday!
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Your Memory is a Liar—And Here’s How It Gets Away With It
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes 55 seconds
We trust our memories like loyal companions. We lean on them to guide our decisions, shape our beliefs, and anchor our identities. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: your memory is not what you think it is.
It’s not a flawless recording device, faithfully preserving facts and events. Instead, it’s more like a crafty storyteller—creative, prone to exaggeration, and sometimes flat-out deceptive. Today, we’ll unravel how cognitive biases—those sneaky mental shortcuts that distort our judgment—shape, twist, and sometimes even fabricate your memories.
By the end of this deep dive, you’ll see why “I remember it clearly” isn’t a trump card for the truth. What you remember may say more about how you feel right now than what happened back then.
So, let’s pull back the curtain on how your mind shapes your narrative and explore practical ways to make peace with your memory’s imperfect nature.
Sometimes, that’s all we need to know.
Memory Isn’t Built for Accuracy—It’s Built for Survival
Why is your memory not as reliable as you’d like? Your brain evolved not to document reality accurately but to keep you alive. For our hunter-gatherer ancestors, survival depended on making quick predictions and split-second decisions.
The brain became optimized for speed, not precision. It’s wired to prioritize information that seems important for survival—emotional events, threats, patterns—over a comprehensive record of reality.
This bias toward survival means that your memories are often more about usefulness than truth. Your brain doesn’t bother storing every mundane detail of your day-to-day life; instead, it keeps what it thinks will be most helpful for predicting the future. The result? A practical memory, but prone to distortion. Here are some ways in which your brain distorts memories.
The Hindsight Bias: The “I Knew It All Along” Fallacy
Ever look back on an event and think, “I knew this was going to happen”? That’s hindsight bias at work. It’s the tendency to see past events as more predictable than they actually were. When we look back, we often believe we had foreseen or anticipated outcomes all along—even when we didn’t. Hindsight bias reshapes our memories to align with current knowledge, giving us a false sense of wisdom about the past.
Baruch Fischhoff studied this bias in the 1970s, showing how our recollections of what we expected shifted to match what actually happened. This illusion of predictability can be comforting, but it’s also misleading. It causes us to overestimate our ability to foresee future events and undermines our ability to learn from past mistakes.
Example: Think back to a time when a relationship ended. Did you say, “I saw the red flags from the start”? At the time, though, you might have been hopeful and committed. Your brain retroactively casts you as the wise observer who saw it coming, even if you were blindsided.
It’s important to practice humility. When looking back, acknowledge that your past self didn’t have the same information you do now. Remind yourself that events often appear inevitable only in retrospect.
The Zeigarnik Effect: Why Unfinished Business Haunts You
The Zeigarnik effect explains why uncompleted tasks stay on your mind far longer than completed ones. It’s why an unresolved conversation gnaws at you and why the half-finished to-do list feels like a mountain. Bluma Zeigarnik discovered this in the 1920s when she noticed that people remember interrupted tasks better than completed ones. The unfinished nature keeps your brain’s “mental tabs” open.
Marketers use this bias against you every day. Ever received an email about items still sitting in your online shopping cart? That’s the Zeigarnik effect in action, nudging you to finish what you started. This bias drives people back to TV shows with cliffhanger endings and makes us feel anxious about loose ends.
Example: If you’ve ever found yourself unable to relax because of an incomplete project, that’s the Zeigarnik effect in play. Your brain craves closure, which is why you’re more likely to return to a task once you’ve begun it.
To overcome procrastination, start a task—even if just for five minutes. Once you’ve made some progress, you’ll feel a stronger pull to complete it.
The Von Restorff Effect: The Power of Standing Out
The Von Restorff effect—or isolation effect—shows that items that stand out from the crowd are more easily remembered. Unique, unusual, or vivid events grab your brain’s attention.
The brain prioritizes information that seems distinctive over the routine and ordinary.
This bias is powerful in marketing and public speaking, where being memorable often means being different. Think about the quirky commercials or unusual ad campaigns that stick in your mind—they’re leveraging the Von Restorff effect to make an impact.
Example: You remember the one quirky detail from a conference, like a speaker’s outrageous tie, but can’t recall the other sessions. That standout detail hijacks your memory, pushing everything else to the background.
If you want your message to stick, make it unique. Use metaphors, vivid imagery, or an unexpected twist to capture attention.
Memory Bias: Emotion’s Role in Rewriting the Past
Your current emotional state can alter how you recall past events. If you’re feeling happy, you may look back on past relationships or experiences more fondly. If you’re angry or sad, those same memories can take on a darker tone. This phenomenon, known as memory bias, means that how you feel now colors your recollection of what happened then.
Emotions affect what we pay attention to and how we encode experiences. When recalling an event, your brain may exaggerate or minimize details to fit your current mood. This isn’t just about selective memory; it’s about how your brain literally rewrites the past.
Example: Think about an argument you had years ago. If you’re still angry, you might remember it as a full-blown fight. But if you’ve forgiven the person, it might seem more like a minor disagreement.
When reflecting on memories, check in with your emotional state. Ask yourself if your current mood is distorting your view of the past.
False Memories: When Your Brain Makes Stuff Up
We’d all like to think our memories are accurate, but research shows otherwise. False memories occur when we recall events that didn’t happen or remember them in ways that differ from reality.
Psychologist Elizabeth Loftus demonstrated how easily our memories can be manipulated. Simple suggestions, like “Do you remember the time you got lost in the mall?” can plant false memories in people’s minds.
False memories can form through repeated telling, subtle suggestions, or even self-deception. They’re not deliberate lies, but rather products of the brain’s storytelling nature, filling in gaps with what “feels right.”
Example: You’re convinced you once had a childhood pet dog, but family photos and relatives say otherwise. Your brain may have taken details from a friend’s dog and weaved them into your personal story.
Treat memories as stories your brain tells you—not as factual accounts. Cross-check them with others or keep a detailed journal to minimize distortion.
The Pollyanna Principle: Rose-Tinted Glasses for Your Memory
Named after the ever-optimistic character Pollyanna, this principle refers to our tendency to remember pleasant events more vividly than unpleasant ones. It’s why childhood summers seem longer and happier, while tough times seem blurry.
This bias towards positivity helps protect our mental health, but it can also cause us to overlook important lessons from negative experiences.
The Pollyanna principle can be both a blessing and a curse. While it allows us to cherish happy memories, it can also lead to unrealistic optimism or a skewed sense of our past accomplishments.
Example: You might reminisce about “the good old days” with friends, conveniently glossing over the struggles you faced back then.
Balance your nostalgia with an honest look at the past. Don’t let your rosy memories fool you into thinking everything was always perfect.
Confabulation: When You Believe Your Own Lies
Confabulation occurs when we unconsciously fill in gaps in our memory with stories we genuinely believe to be true. It’s not the same as lying; confabulation is a product of our brain trying to make sense of incomplete information. The more often we tell ourselves a story, the more we start to believe it.
Even without any intention to deceive, we often rewrite history to justify our actions, explain our decisions, or preserve our self-image. It’s the brain’s way of protecting the ego.
Example: You might embellish a tale about how your business started, adding details that make the story more impressive. Over time, even you believe this “enhanced” version.
Challenge the narratives you tell yourself, especially when they paint you as either a hero or a victim. Ask, “Is that what really happened?”
The Spacing Effect: The Key to Long-Term Memory
The spacing effect is a cognitive bias that actually works in your favor. It shows that information is better retained when study sessions are spaced out over time, rather than crammed. Your brain consolidates memories more effectively when you give it time to rest between learning sessions.
Example: If you’re preparing for an important presentation, review your notes over several weeks rather than cramming the night before. You’ll retain the information better and feel more confident.
Incorporate spaced repetition into your learning routine. Review material a day later, a week later, and a month later for long-term retention.
Memory Is a Useful Lie
So there you have it: eight cognitive biases that distort your memories, making you more storyteller than a historian. But don’t be discouraged—understanding these biases empowers you to become a more critical thinker. It’s not about achieving a perfect memory; it’s about acknowledging the limits of your mind and using that knowledge to navigate the world more effectively.
Your memory may lie, but with the right mindset, you can learn to question your narrative. The next time you catch yourself saying, “I remember it like it was yesterday,” pause and ask: Are you recalling the truth or just a story your brain has told itself? In the end, being aware of how our minds shape the past allows us to shape the future more deliberately.
And as always, remember to question not just what others tell you, but what you tell yourself.
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The Brain Prompt: Recalibrate Your Memory for Accuracy
Next time you recall a past event, stop and ask yourself: “How do I feel right now?” Your current emotional state could be skewing your memory. By acknowledging how your mood influences what you remember, you can recalibrate your perception and approach the memory with a more balanced mindset.
Make it a habit to question your recollections, especially when they evoke strong emotions. This simple practice can help you avoid memory traps and see the past with greater clarity.
Subscribe to the Inner Propaganda newsletter for weekly insights on psychology, influence, and the art of persuasion: owenfitzpatrick.com/newsletter.
Cheers,
Owen.
P.S. If you want to dive deeper into this, check out this week’s Changing Minds podcast on the fascinating world of memory and how our cognitive biases distort the past.
