Life brings with it unbridled joy and deep, dark despair. Sometimes it brings both simultaneously. The truth is that much of your success and well-being in life depends on your ability to handle the dark times and appreciate the joy. There is no fairness in life. Bad things happen to good people and good things often happen to bad people. This is reality. These are the facts. Often you won’t get what you deserve. No matter how much you want something it will stay outside of your reach. Your heart may break many times. All of these things are possible no matter what your attitude is like.
I spoke to someone recently who was going through a tough break up. They missed the other person so much it hurt. They had lost their best friend and they loved them still. Words really don’t help much in situations like this. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make the pain go away. But that doesn’t mean it can’t help even a little.
I want to talk about what you do when the worst happens; when your loved one breaks your heart or when someone dies. When you lose your job and find yourself struggling to survive. What do you do when your world collapses around you? What do you do when your future ceases to exist as it did in your mind?
The answer, quite simply, is to fight on. You fight on and work hard to continue moving forward. You become resilient. You become courageous. You become stronger. The reason that you do is because you have no other choice. The very worst times have little in terms of comfort and when there is a lacking in comfort you must toughen up. You must pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You must allow yourself to grieve and hurt from unimaginable pain until you turn things around or just plain get through it. You must dig deep inside your soul and find the part of you that has the heart of a lion. You must survive because there is no other option.
Your feelings, in such times, will absolutely cloud your judgement. You will be tempted to do anything and everything to try and escape the pain. But you will get through this. You have been here before and, if not, then somewhere similar with just as much pain. You got through that and you will get through this.
Know that your survival will not be in vain. It will bring about lessons that you will learn and help you develop a strength that you have yet to develop. You will light a fire inside of yourself and recognise just how tough you are. You will find your true character and you will learn just how powerful you are. All the disappointments and heartbreaks and pain will serve to make you a better person than you were before. For it is only in our worst moments that we find our best qualities.
It’s not always going to be straightforward. The business of the heart isn’t something that the magic of a pill can instantly heal. Instead, time and love are the best medicines. Love from those around you. Sometimes this is yet another disappointment, devastation, difficult dark time that seems to be never ending. It may well try and destroy all hope you have for a brighter future. But you must pick up the pieces and start again.
Life is never easy. It tests you more than you ever want to be tested. Sometimes, it can seem like there is no way to be happy in the world you surround yourself with. But that is the exact time that calls for your strength and to remember that you are not alone. Maybe not everyone you know is the right person to talk to. But there are people you know who love you that will be there for you. Or perhaps you know that there are organisations out there that you can talk to. There are some good people who want to help. So, connect with them. Let them share your burden. You do not have to go through all of this alone.
Whatever is going on in your life, you will get through it. You will come out the other side. Everything will be okay. Maybe it will take some time. Maybe you will find yourself handling hell for a little while longer but one day, you will wake up and things won’t be so bad. You will be alright. Because you’ve got this. And you were built to handle it all.
I believe that we all sometimes need a reminder of what greatness lies within us. Such greatness isn’t always about helping us become great athletes or artists or entrepreneurs. It’s not even just about saving lives or helping others. Sometimes such greatness is about battling the forces of the dark side of life, the dark times, the anxieties that keep you awake at night, the deep pain of loss and missing someone so, so much and coming out the other side having survived and grown as a result. Keep fighting. Keep moving forward. Keep strong. Remember that these attributes and qualities are your destiny and your future depends on them.
Somewhere out there, maybe far away from you, someone is rooting for you. Someone is willing you to be okay. That someone might not even know you or what you’re going through but they’ve been there themselves or they’re going through it too. They want you to bounce back. I want you to bounce back. And you will. And everything will be okay. Your future will be all you deserve it to be. No matter what it may feel. Know that.